I think this week's sermon in the "My Secret Life" series is about doubt. Just a quick story from when I was involved in campus ministry.
I began attending the Wesley Student Center the first semester of my freshman year in college. It initially was a place for me to make friends that I could hang out with when my dorm friends were drinking at frat parties on Saturday nights. One Wednesday night meeting that I remember vividly was led by the campus minister. We were numbered off into small groups and given note cards. We were supposed to write down all the things that we were certain of in regards to our faith and then share them with our group. Each group would then report back to the larger group. I was paired with another freshman and Bonnie, a graduate student.
I was so nervous because honestly I didn't know what to write and just knew that Bonnie was going to fill up her card 3 times over. So, I went back to my Sunday school training and all the things I had heard other people say and wrote down things like, "Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary," "God created the heavens and the earth in 6 days and on the 7th day he rested," "Adam and Eve committed the original sin in the garden of Eden" etc. I probably had 6 or 7 items like this. When it came time, I shared mine, the other girl shared hers, and then it was Bonnie's turn. Bonnie, to my surprise, really only had one or two statements on her card. I believe they were something to the affect of "I believe in God and that God loves me" and "Because of Jesus I am forgiven." I was floored. Here was someone who was so much older and wiser (I know ... but at the time a grad student seemed like Solomon to me) and she could only state two things she knew for absolute certain. In that moment I had so much respect and love for her because I realized that she had doubts just like me and she wasn't ashamed of that.
Fast forward to four years later. I'm a senior and a peer minister and am leading midweek worship. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to do that same exercise. I had all the groups scatter and then brought them back together and tried to get volunteers to share with the group. When no one spoke up, I shared with them the story about me as a freshman and Bonnie. I read them what I had my card and it was a few simple statements about my beliefs. When I was done, another senior who had been in the group with me since we were both freshman, Emily, spoke up. Emily was the model of what a good person and "good" Christian should be. She never swore, she was modest, she was kind to everyone, she volunteered her time, she visited the old folks home every month, she (no kidding) could play every song in the Methodist hymnal from memory, she sang in the choir, etc. With near tears in her eyes but a smile on her face she told me that she was overjoyed when she heard that neither Bonnie nor I were absolutely certain about a whole lot of things. She said that she doubted constantly but never felt like she could ever say that to anyone in our group. It was a relief and surprise to learn that she wasn't alone.
After that I always felt a special connection with her. Before I saw her as someone I should attain to be like, but who also made me feel kind of uncomfortable because I was guilty that I couldn't seem to be as faithful as her. But after that night, when we bonded over our doubts I regretted that I had wasted all those years not getting to know her better and sharing more of our spiritual journey.
The point of relating the entire proceeding story is that if anyone is reading this, I hope they not only know that it is ok to have doubts, but also know that by sharing those doubts it can bring us closer together as a community of faith. Being honest about this is not a weakness that will drive people away, but a strength that will ultimately attract people to us. I'll admit right now that from the age of 16 to 28 I've gone back and forth from being a faithful Christian and church attendee to a non-believer probably four times. I must've read Mere Christianity five times between ages 19 and 23 just to try and shake my doubts about God. I still don't know if I believe in many of the miracles described in the Bible - depends what day you catch me on.
Don't know what made me think about that tonight, but felt the urge to write it down.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
We’re all "seekers"
My church is doing a series that is targeted particularly towards those who perhaps aren't yet Christians or attend church regularly. I think this is a good thing and have been surprised recently to find that there are some people I know who don't agree and I never would've guessed it. I haven't gotten into the specifics of why they feel that way exactly with them, but I can imagine what some of those reasons may be. I was involved in a campus ministry in college and always felt uneasiness each year when it came time for the campus activity fair. Something about sitting at a booth and trying to sign up new members like it was just another club didn't seem right. Or, staking out the front of the library and hassling people who at best viewed you as a nuisance and at worst felt embarrassed or guilty to ignore you. I think that perhaps they may see things like publicizing this new series with door hangers or mailings or special invites as maybe tarnishing an image somehow.
I kind have to come to the conclusion that those that view "church people" as a nuisance are going to feel that way whether we do these things to try and reach them or not, so why not try? They also might be feeling that targeting this segment of people will lead to a church that is only concerned with getting people in the door and doesn't deepen their understanding once they're there. To that I'd say, 1) have faith in your leadership that they won't let this happen, and 2) I don't think you can ever become so "advanced" in your spiritual journey that it won't help you go back to the "basics."
The other thing that I've had on my mind is perhaps a matter of semantics, or perhaps bothers no one but me, but since I've moved to Nashville I've encountered a term that I had never heard before ( no, I don't mean "fixin to", "might can", or "toboggan") "un-churched." I don't know the origin of this word. Seems to me it could either be a old-timey or southern slang word for those that don't attend church, or, it could be someone's attempt at a politically correct turn of phrase to replace a more derogatory term. I think the reason that I cringe every time that Pete uses the word is that to me "un-churched" implies that there are two groups of people, the "churched" and the "un-churched." Since we are sitting in a church, obviously we must think that being "churched" is the way to go and therefore being "un-churched" is bad. As Christians, of course we are inclined to believe that the state of being apart from God is bad and we want those people to find God. Calling someone "un-churched" is just too close to calling someone "unclean" too me. If I were a person unfamiliar with Christianity and seeking some answers and sat at a service where I was referred to as being "unchurched", I don't know that I'd stay.
And that brings me to another word - "seeker." Also, up until now I had never heard the term "seeker church." From what I can tell, this kind of has a negative connotation. A seeker church seems to refer to churches that do everything they can to attract as many people as possible, usually who have no prior experience with Christianity. Usually they are very large, promote and advertise themselves very well, have all the bells and whistles, charismatic leaders, youth-oriented, contemporary worship, big budget, but little actual fellowship, discipleship or service takes place. I did attend a place like this once in Nashville and didn't go back because it felt a little cold and unauthentic for my taste.
The thing is, I'm willing to bet that most people in places like that truly have the best of intentions. I also bet that the person who first coined that phrase "seeker" really was just trying to describe the people that they felt the Lord truly wanted us as a universal church to reach out to. Those people who are seeking something more. And the thing is, I don't think that once we've accepted the Gospel message that we cease to be seekers. Just like in the education field they talk a lot about creating "lifelong learners," Christians are lifelong seekers.
Sorry for the incoherent ramblings. They're not intended to be a rant, just an outlet for my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to comment if you agree, disagree, or just want to throw a rotten tomato at me.
I kind have to come to the conclusion that those that view "church people" as a nuisance are going to feel that way whether we do these things to try and reach them or not, so why not try? They also might be feeling that targeting this segment of people will lead to a church that is only concerned with getting people in the door and doesn't deepen their understanding once they're there. To that I'd say, 1) have faith in your leadership that they won't let this happen, and 2) I don't think you can ever become so "advanced" in your spiritual journey that it won't help you go back to the "basics."
The other thing that I've had on my mind is perhaps a matter of semantics, or perhaps bothers no one but me, but since I've moved to Nashville I've encountered a term that I had never heard before ( no, I don't mean "fixin to", "might can", or "toboggan") "un-churched." I don't know the origin of this word. Seems to me it could either be a old-timey or southern slang word for those that don't attend church, or, it could be someone's attempt at a politically correct turn of phrase to replace a more derogatory term. I think the reason that I cringe every time that Pete uses the word is that to me "un-churched" implies that there are two groups of people, the "churched" and the "un-churched." Since we are sitting in a church, obviously we must think that being "churched" is the way to go and therefore being "un-churched" is bad. As Christians, of course we are inclined to believe that the state of being apart from God is bad and we want those people to find God. Calling someone "un-churched" is just too close to calling someone "unclean" too me. If I were a person unfamiliar with Christianity and seeking some answers and sat at a service where I was referred to as being "unchurched", I don't know that I'd stay.
And that brings me to another word - "seeker." Also, up until now I had never heard the term "seeker church." From what I can tell, this kind of has a negative connotation. A seeker church seems to refer to churches that do everything they can to attract as many people as possible, usually who have no prior experience with Christianity. Usually they are very large, promote and advertise themselves very well, have all the bells and whistles, charismatic leaders, youth-oriented, contemporary worship, big budget, but little actual fellowship, discipleship or service takes place. I did attend a place like this once in Nashville and didn't go back because it felt a little cold and unauthentic for my taste.
The thing is, I'm willing to bet that most people in places like that truly have the best of intentions. I also bet that the person who first coined that phrase "seeker" really was just trying to describe the people that they felt the Lord truly wanted us as a universal church to reach out to. Those people who are seeking something more. And the thing is, I don't think that once we've accepted the Gospel message that we cease to be seekers. Just like in the education field they talk a lot about creating "lifelong learners," Christians are lifelong seekers.
Sorry for the incoherent ramblings. They're not intended to be a rant, just an outlet for my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to comment if you agree, disagree, or just want to throw a rotten tomato at me.
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